change to bluechange to orangechange to greenchange to purple
Home PageBody Matters During PubertySexRelationshipsGay and Lesbian SexualitySTIs and Safer SexContraception and PregnancyYour Questions Answered
Responsible teen sexuality - and what they don't teach you in sex education at school


Tell us

...or ask us. With views to offer or questions to ask about love, sex, relationships or sexual health, get in touch - click through here




What if I just can't seem to get a girlfriend/boyfriend?

If you find yourself asking this question it probably means you are looking too hard!


Whenever anyone attempts to go out there and find themselves a guy or a gal it hardly ever seems to work. Maybe it's because we come across as too needy or desperate or too full on. Maybe it's because we are not really being ourselves - because we're making such an effort to impress and attract someone else.

Relax and let yourself be yourself - that's what's attractive, and that's when you'll be attractive. The human mind is very cunning and we infer a lot of things subconsciously - from body language, tone of voice and behaviour, for example. Think you can fake all that? Well, why bother?

Don't worry about whether anyone will like you. You should go out wondering if you'll like anyone you see - and stay open to finding someone lovely, good looking, and kind. When you find someone nice, don't immediately try immediately try to make them your girlfriend or boyfriend!

Where are you looking?

In a relationship it can be good to be with someone with whom you have a lot in common, or share similar interests. With this in mind, say you attend a drama workshop, or any other hobby or interest you might have, keep an open eye as you will most likely make friends with similar interests at these things, so there's at least room for development or potential. Of course two very different people can hit it off just as easily, so other places to be aware of are parties and within groups of friends where you'll end up meeting friends of friends.

Who are you looking for?

Be realistic. If you're hoping to get with one of your sister's/brother's friends or chasing someone three years above you then that's not going to be the most opportunity-rich relationship area... so 'look' elsewhere.

Be ambitious. Saying that, if you really like someone and you think you'll regret it if you never find out if they ever felt the same way - then go for it - after all you have nothing to lose. Some people are extremely modest and/or have low self esteem so if that's you don't sell yourself short! Have some ambition.

Be honest. Being physically attracted to someone isn't enough, in the majority of relationships, to sustain an exciting interesting relationship, the flame will most likely burn out. So don't kid yourself if you know that, even if he/she is really hot, you find them boring or you're not on the same wavelength. Do you really get on with them? Or is it more a case of you wishing you had more in common? Have a think.

Don't worry about it!

That's the worst thing you can do - the chances are it'll happen some day unless you worry about it -then it becomes an issue and you will seem vulnerable, desperate and needy. So have the confidence to be your self and carry on that way! It's only a matter of time.

Question MarkQuick Tips!
When and if you're ready:

You really must say you're a virgin the first time you have sex.

Go really slowly and gently, don't have overly high expectations - Meantime, enjoy your virginity and maybe explore




Copyright © MMV Lifetime Productions International Ltd | Website Design by TheGYC.COM | Editor: Oliver Peers

Key 18+ indices: sex positions, sexual health, sex toys shop