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Responsible teen sexuality - and what they don't teach you in sex education at school
 

 

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Being sensual without having sex

There are a lot more ways to show affection and love than to have full, penetrative sex. Sex may well be the culmination of all the affection, love, care and attraction you feel for each other, but there are other ways of being sensual without having sex.

Kissing is one of the most sensuous things to do and can be just as fulfilling as sex, especially if you feel you are not yet ready for sex. Kissing is creative, intense, tender, gentle, erotic and is always intimate.

Touching and cuddling is good, perhaps when curled up together on the sofa, watching a DVD or listening to music. Everyone loves being hugged. It makes you feel protected and whole, especially after a stressful day.

Try keeping your clothes on! Kissing usually leads to being aroused, which can lead to a whole load of things, but grinding yourselves against each other and wrapping your bodies round each other is great, even when you're fully dressed. You can feel a lot safer and freer to enjoy making out if you're not getting naked.

Hold hands. It's a simple way of showing affection and being together.

Talk. Physical attraction is all very well and good. One would hope, though, that there's plenty of attraction and allure involved in your partner's mind and way of thinking. A good conversation can actually increase their sex appeal!

Massages are always fun - and so sensual! Don't just pummel your partner. Try lighter and firmer strokes - and remember you're working the muscle, not the bones. Ask what feels good and use some lotion to reduce friction and make it easier.

Mutual masturbation is one sexual activity people enjoy. It's a way of being sexual without having full sex. Adults do it, but for younger people especially it's a good way of exploring and enjoying your bodies without going 'all the way'. Remember that boys masturbate in a different way from girls. Don't assume you know what to do. Show each other what feels right.

Oral sex is also a way of having sex without penetration. You can take turns to use your mouths to stimulate each other's genitals, or you can try doing it at the same time, which can also be very satisfying. This is known as the 'sixty-nine' position (69), which reflects the position of the bodies - head to toe - in numbers.

Warning! Do be aware that sexually transmitted infections can be passed quite readily through oral sex - and we should add that, as with other forms of sexual contact, you're meant to be over sixteen.

 

 

 

Question MarkQuick Tips!
What do you want?

Not sure if you're doing the right thing - or if you're pushing things too far?

So ask. You don't need to make a big speech. 'Should I?' will often cover it - with a gesture

 

 

 

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