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Responsible teen sexuality - and what they don't teach you in sex education at school


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Masturbation for girls

Become sexually confident - before you ever have full sex

Girls usually start masturbating a little later than boys. This is partly because it isn't quite so obvious that girls have a new, burgeoning source of pleasure to explore. (Well, the boys' does stick out more!) It's also because societies can tend to teach girls not to be sexual people, even sometimes to think of sex as a bit wrong - 'naughty' or even 'dirty'. Mostly, parents are being protective because it's girls who get pregnant.

Now we strongly encourage you not to have any kind of sex at all until you're well and truly ready, but, before you ever have full-on sex, it can really be a good thing to masturbate.


It relaxes you. It teaches you about pleasure, specifically sexual pleasure. It allows you to explore yourself as a sexual being - and gain confidence, so you don't damage yourself having bad first experiences of sex at what might be too young an age.

You can learn a lot about how sex works by masturbating. This can empower you, so you don't end up being bound up in relationships which aren't really good for you, or become a teenage pregnancy statistic.

Here's how to do it

If you've never masturbated before, choose your time carefully. You don't want your parents knocking at the door. No distractions. When you are ready and want to try, perhaps in bed just before you go to sleep or in the morning, you want to make this special.

It's a good thing to get to know your private parts - your genitalia - by looking at them in the mirror. Take a moment to appreciate that they look good. (A lot of girls have somehow been trained to think that their private parts don't look good.)

Now, gently part the lips, the labia, and look at where your clitoris is: just above your vagina and 'pee hole' (urethra), at the base of the pubic bone.

You might not be able to see it yet, because you aren't yet aroused and it hasn't emerged yet.

You will, though, see the clitoral 'hood', through which the clitoris will emerge when you are aroused and it becomes 'erect', just like a boy's penis, but not so much.

Now, it helps if you have some lubrication to hand. KY jelly is good. Baby oil isn't really because it alters the delicate pH balance (the acidity) of your genitalia.

But this isn't a science lesson!

Get comfortable. Relax. Touch and stroke other parts of your body, your breasts, for example, and allow yourself to feel sensual.

You should feel free to fantasise. Think lovely, warm, comfy thoughts - about someone you fancy, perhaps.

When you're comfortable, moisten a finger with the lubrication. The KY jelly, or similar, is best, but if not use plenty of saliva.

Now gently part the lips of your vagina (the labia) and start to stroke around the clitoris.

You might quickly start to feel some good sensations - and become sexually aroused.

Your clitoris should now become erect and emerge from its hood.

Start to experiment. Lighter or harder strokes. Directly on the clitoris or around it. Some girls like to insert a finger or two into their vagina as well.

Gradually - or perhaps quite quickly - sensation will build and build.

You do what feels really good for you. As we've said, experiment. Every girl and woman is different - and what feels best can also change depending on where you are in your menstrual cycle (the time of the month).

After a while, the sensations will build and gather around the clitoris - and can become very intense.

Orgasm is the climax: the feeling of great release and often overwhelming pleasure.

And lastly: you get to know all about masturbation first, and more importantly, your sexual responses, before letting a boy (at least with his clothes off) near you!

Good luck.

Question MarkQuick Tips!
What do you want?

Not sure if you're doing the right thing - or if you're pushing things too far?

So ask. You don't need to make a big speech. 'Should I?' will often cover it - with a gesture




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