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Responsible teen sexuality - and what they don't teach you in sex education at school


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In what sort of ways do people actually have sex?

Sex is fun, sensual, loving, caring, exciting and creative

Has it ever crossed your mind that there is more than one way of having sex? Such is the emphasis, when teaching sex education, to explain how a penis fits inside a vagina that one is hardly ever exposed to sex positions other than the 'missionary' position with the two lovers face to face.

Varying the way one has sex, including the actual positions one has sex in, is a way of exploring feelings and can increase intimacy, trust and pleasure within a relationship.

Explore when you feel you are ready and remember: sex isn't obligatory!

The missionary position

With the man on top, face to face. This is the most well known and used position in sexual history and is extremely popular due to the incredible intimacy involved in the act of lovemaking. Women especially like seeing their partner's face.


In this position the man lies behind the woman, both facing the same direction, and he penetrates her from behind. It's quite a slow, lazy way of making love.

Doggie style

This is with the woman on her knees, facing forward, the man kneeling to enter her from behind. Men like it because they have a good view of their partner's rear and go as fast as they like to. Women like it if they like very deep penetration.

Woman on top

This can be great for the girls who like taking control - over the speed, thrusting and rhythm of sex. It is also good for the guy as, while he is lying on the back, or sitting on a sofa, she is doing most of the work - and he gets a full view!

'Lovemaking' and 'having sex'

The difference? Well, both mean (penetrative) sex. Lovemaking has become a euphemism for having sex and usually is between two partners in a relationship. You are literally 'making love', becoming more intimate with one another and advancing your relationship considerably by becoming closer to one another. This plays into how sex is an important part in a mature relationship - when you feel ready for it.

Orgasms and sex

While it is common for a man to reach orgasm and ejaculate fairly automatically it is, in most cases, a very different story for a woman. A woman needs to feel sufficiently aroused even before penetration in order to up the chances of having an orgasm.

That's why the boys should put plenty of effort into foreplay beforehand. Also during sex the man has to try and stimulate the woman's clitoris, which is located just above the vagina, just at the lower point of her pubic bone.

Because of this it is unlikely that a girl will experience an orgasm for the first time when she has sex. She is more likely to experience it through masturbation and self-exploration.

As you experiment

Above all, when you experiment with sex, keep love, trust, honesty and communication at the forefront of your relationship and you'll avoid getting hurt. Feel free to make mistakes, help each other along, have a laugh together when it does go wrong, and you'll learn quickly.

Question MarkQuick Tips!
Be bold!

But not tacky. Say hi and ask what they're doing this weekend - and have a plan to suggest you think they'll like.

Relax and think: getting to know you. Rather than: getting it




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