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Responsible teen sexuality - and what they don't teach you in sex education at school


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When is the right time to lose my virginity?

You decide

The answer: when you - and that's you, not anyone else - are truly, truly ready.

One survey said 28% of underage girls had had sex - mostly when drunk. Most said they regretted it afterwards. Is that what you want for you?

Due to peer pressure, the usual ups and downs of teenage life, and wanting to feel a part of something, feelings can become blurred and hard to read (see 'Is everyone getting it? Peer pressure and sex myths') but make sure you're clear on a few of the following things first:

Love and sex

Do you love and trust the other person? Sex, becoming that intimate with someone else, is best experienced in a loving relationship - so as to avoid, for example, the feeling of being used or getting unduly hurt.

Take time

How long have you been going out? It can be easy to get swept off your feet and do something you wouldn't otherwise, so make sure it's not a week into a 'relationship' with someone you just met.


Are you absolutely aware about contraception? If you're going to have sex you should be. Absolutely. It's just not worth the risk. If you're ready enough to have sex, you should definitely be ready enough to know about all that!

Nasty diseases

Are you absolutely aware of the risk of STIs? There are a lot of nasty diseases and infections out there and you must be aware of what they are, of how to avoid them and what to do if something unexpected and unpleasant (or disastrous) were to crop up.

Pregnancy risks

What will you do if the condom breaks? It may be something you don't want to think about but you should be mature enough not to panic and to know what to do and where to go, to act quickly - so as to avoid an unplanned pregnancy.

Deep feelings

When you masturbate, girls included, are you completely confident and comfortable with what you're feeling and do you want to share those feelings yet? Sharing those feelings can be very intense. Sometimes the notion of 'sex' and the mythical 'need' to lose you virginity, due to peer pressure, makes people forget what it's actually going to be like!


Is there any chance that you'll feel guilty afterwards? If so, those feelings - or the thought they might be there - are probably saying you're not ready yet.

Age of consent

Are you over 16? Well, the age of consent is there. It is actually illegal to have sex beneath that age. (You might find it amusing - or just plain weird - that kissing with tongues is too!)

Question MarkQuick Tips!
Won't talk?

If your boyfriend or girlfriend falls silent, something's up.

Explain that you want to be 'let in' - then it can be good to give them space, tell them to call and let them come back to you




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